HOW TO SPOT A NARCISSIST ON A FIRST DATE
A Narcissist is an injured person, who is unable to love, like a non-narcissist. A narcissist only thinks about themselves, thereby making an unhealthy relationship. Steer clear.
Spotting a narcissist on a first date can be challenging, but there are subtle signs to look out for, especially as someone with more life experience. At an older age, you’ve likely encountered various personalities, and that wisdom can help you identify potential red flags that indicate narcissistic traits. Here are some signs to watch for during your first date:
They Dominate the Conversation
Narcissists often monopolize conversations, steering every topic back to themselves. If your date spends the majority of the time talking about their achievements, experiences, or problems without showing genuine interest in your life, it could be a sign of narcissism. While it’s normal for people to want to make a good impression, a narcissist often goes overboard, boasting and exaggerating their successes.
Lack of Empathy
A key characteristic of narcissism is a lack of empathy. Pay attention to how your date responds to stories about your life, especially those that involve your feelings. Do they acknowledge your emotions, or do they quickly shift the focus back to themselves? If your date seems indifferent to your feelings or disregards your emotional experiences, it’s a red flag.
Grandiosity and Inflated Ego
Narcissists often have an inflated sense of self-importance. They may speak in grand terms about their life and accomplishments, often exaggerating their importance. If your date frequently drops names, mentions their status or wealth, or constantly compares themselves to others in a way that puts them above everyone else, it’s a sign of grandiosity.
Excessive Need for Admiration
Narcissists crave admiration and validation. On a first date, this might manifest as fishing for compliments or making statements that are designed to elicit praise. For example, they might say something like, “I’ve been told I look much younger than my age,” expecting you to agree and compliment them. If your date seems to constantly seek reassurance about their appearance, accomplishments, or status, it’s worth noting.
Controlling Behavior
Pay attention to whether your date tries to control the situation. This can include choosing where you go, what you eat, or even steering the conversation in a direction that suits them. Narcissists often want to be in control, as it allows them to maintain a sense of superiority. If your date dismisses your opinions or preferences, it could be a sign of controlling tendencies.
Lack of Genuine Interest
Narcissists are often more interested in talking about themselves than learning about others. If your date asks very few questions about you or your life, and when they do, they don’t seem genuinely interested in your answers, this is a red flag. Genuine connections are built on mutual interest and understanding, which is not something a narcissist typically prioritizes.
Quick to Criticize Others
Observe how your date talks about other people. Narcissists often put others down to elevate themselves. If your date is quick to criticize others—whether it’s past partners, friends, or even strangers—it might indicate a lack of empathy and a need to feel superior. This critical nature can also be turned against you later in the relationship.
Disregard for Boundaries
Narcissists often have a sense of entitlement, leading them to disregard boundaries. On a first date, this might show up as them pushing you to share more personal information than you’re comfortable with or ignoring your signals that you’re not interested in certain topics. They may also invade your personal space or move too quickly in the relationship. Respect for boundaries is crucial in any relationship, and a disregard for them is a warning sign.
Inconsistent Stories
If your date’s stories seem inconsistent or exaggerated, it could be a sign of narcissism. Narcissists often embellish or fabricate stories to make themselves look better. Pay attention to any discrepancies or over-the-top tales that seem too good to be true. Inconsistent details can indicate a tendency to manipulate the truth to fit their narrative.
Overly Smooth and Charismatic
Narcissists can be incredibly charming on the surface, which makes them difficult to spot initially. They might come across as very smooth, saying all the right things and making you feel special. However, this charm often lacks depth and sincerity. If your date seems too good to be true or if their charm feels rehearsed rather than genuine, it’s worth considering whether it’s just a facade.
In conclusion, while these signs are not definitive proof of narcissism, they can be strong indicators. Trust your instincts—if something feels off, it’s important to pay attention to those feelings. Being aware of these traits can help you avoid getting involved with someone who may not have your best interests at heart.
